Bleed For Me
by RBabe500
Summary: Angsty Seto/Jou one-shot songfic to Saliva's "Bleed For Me." Seto's musings over his feelings for Jou, and Jou's lack of feelings for him. But are his feelings becoming to strong for him?


Well, I still have major writer's block for Open Your Eyes, but I did get a great idea for nice little angsty Seto/Jou. I got the Daredevil soundtrack today, and as I was listening to the song "Bleed For Me" by Saliva, I was like, this song will totally work for a songfic! So woot! So, without any more rambling from me, I give you my ficcy! R&R please! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Yu-Gi-Oh, or the song "Bleed For Me" by Saliva. *dry tear*  
  
~Bleed For Me~  
  
I didn't mean to fall in love. Not with him, at least. Not with him.....  
  
He is a guy. I am a guy. My whole life, I was taught that was wrong. Yet I fell in love with him. I fell long and hard, and I can't find a way to pick myself back up. There is no escape for me from a love I never wanted to feel.  
  
It was his eyes. That made me fall in love with him, I mean. So gentle, so pure, so captivating. Honey colored. Soft. Nothing like mine. So hard, so cold, so empty. As blue as the ocean. My eyes show nothing. His show his soul.  
  
That is how I know he, too, is in love. And he is not in love with me. And it hurts. It hurts so much sometimes that I just want to grab him and shake him and kiss him and hold him and never let him go.  
  
But I can't.  
  
*All I ever wanted*  
  
*Was to be at your service*  
  
*But now I'm alone*  
  
*Cause you were here and you're gone*  
  
*And all I ever wanted*  
  
*Was to feel I had a purpose*  
  
*But now it's all gone*  
  
I can't ever let him know. I can't ever let him know how I feel. In his eyes, I see the hatred he feels for me. I see the loathing every time he sees me. The insults, they are all false on my side. A shield for me to hide behind. But on his side, they are all true. He wants to be my rival. He wants to hate me. He wants me to hate him.  
  
He thinks I do. Hate him, I mean. He thinks I feel the same hatred for him that he feels for me. But I don't. Oh, I did at first. But I couldn't hate him for long. I couldn't stop myself from falling in love. Can anyone?  
  
My insults got less harsh. They became mere teasing. "Puppy." My favorite name for him. He thinks it is an insult. It is not meant to be one. It is a pet name I have for him. And it is mine alone. He will never know that it is not an insult. He will never know that really, all I want is to pull him close and feel his lips on mine. He will never know.....  
  
*But if you could give me*  
  
*Just one love*  
  
*Just one life*  
  
*Just one chance to believe in life*  
  
*Just one love*  
  
*Just one life*  
  
Perhaps it is for the best. Perhaps it is not meant to be. He will be happier with someone else, anyway. I don't think I could ever make him truly happy, as much as I would like to think I could. He would be better off with the one he loves. The love in his eyes is so clear, so clear that it rips my heart apart. And then my heart tears in two when I see the love in the other's eyes. They are in love, and they will not admit it.  
  
We are all so alike. So afraid to tell another our feelings. So afraid of rejection. So afraid of ourselves. So afraid of living.  
  
I would give the world for him. I would. But it would not be enough. He needs someone like him. Someone like Honda. Honda, who loves him so very much. Honda, who he loves so very much in return. The two fit together. Even I cannot deny it. Best friends, future lovers. I know that eventually, one of them will gather the courage to tell the other, and I will forever be on the outside looking in. Looking in at a love that will survive. A love that I will forever curse.  
  
*You bleed for me*  
  
*And I didn't get to notice you*  
  
*Now I'm stuck out of line*  
  
*Yea, You bleed for me*  
  
*I didn't get to be with you*  
  
*Now you're stuck in my mind*  
  
I want him to be happy. I really do. But I want him to be happy with me. Is that such a crime? Is it such a crime to want a little happiness for myself? Is it such a crime to dream of a world where I could call him Jou and pull him into my arms and kiss him? Is it?  
  
Is it selfish of me to pray that they do not work out? It probably is. It is probably horrible.  
  
I do not give a fuck anymore.  
  
Every day, I love him more and more. Every day, I see him, and I cannot control the feelings coursing through my body. Every day, I pray more and more to a god that I do not believe in, praying for a miracle. Every day, I grow weaker.  
  
*All I ever wanted was to be all you needed*  
  
*'Cause something so strong*  
  
*It could never be wrong*  
  
*And all I can promise*  
  
*Is to say what I'm feeling*  
  
*We've made it so long*  
  
I always thought that the only person I would ever love was Mokuba. I always said that he was all I needed in the world. But a brother cannot fill the empty place in my heart where a lover should be. The empty space in my heart is killing me.  
  
I could find someone else. I know I could. There are millions of girls, and many guys I suppose, that would love to go out with me. I could pick from any of them. But I do not want anyone else. I only want him. I only want him.....  
  
I dream of him at night. Vivid, sweet, enchanting dreams. Holding him, kissing him, making love to him. All in my dreams. And there they will remain. They will forever be dreams. Never reality. Never.  
  
They are so real sometimes. The dreams, I mean. So very real, that I can almost swear that they were real. The feel of his lips on my lips, his skin on my skin, it is all so real to me. The way his lips taste, the way his hands feel trailing along my body, it is all too real to me. It tears me apart, knowing that it will forever be a dream. I will never know what it is like to touch him for real. I will forever be dreaming.  
  
*But if you could give me*  
  
*Just one love*  
  
*Just one life*  
  
*Just one chance to believe in life*  
  
*Just one love*  
  
*Just one life*  
  
I don't want to go on anymore. I really don't. I am being selfish, and I know it. I am being selfish. Mokuba needs me. And I don't care. That makes me an awful big brother, doesn't it?  
  
I don't give a fuck. I really don't.  
  
The pain in my heart won't stop. The pain in my heart is eating me alive. I can't concentrate on anything anymore. Everywhere I go, I see him. His eyes, his hair, everything. He is everywhere to me. I am no where to him.  
  
It's stupid, I know. To care so much for someone that you don't want to go on if you can't have them. my whole life, I was taught that feelings were worthless. They made you weak. Maybe they do. I don't care.  
  
I will never have him. I will never be held in his arms. I will never hold him in mine. All I wanted was to be held in his arms.  
  
*You bleed for me*  
  
*And I didn't get to notice you*  
  
*Now I'm stuck out of line*  
  
*Yeah, you bleed for me*  
  
*I didn't get to be with you*  
  
*Now you're stuck in my mind*  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
Jounouchi raced into the bathroom of his school, his heart pounding. Behind him came Yugi, Anzu, Ryou, and Honda. But he was oblivious to their presence. As he entered the bathroom, the sight his eyes met with killed him inside.  
  
Lying on the bathroom floor in a pool of crimson blood, gun still in hand, was Seto Kaiba. Blood seeped from his head. His eyes stared up, unseeing, at the ceiling.  
  
Jounouchi kneeled on the floor next to the dead teenager. All the anger he had ever felt for the CEO melted away, leaving only the love he had been too blind to see. The love that had surfaced too late.  
  
Staring down at the lifeless body, Jounouchi reached out and lifted the dead boy's body into his arms. He held him close to him, only wanting to hold him, even in death.  
  
*Just one love in my life*  
  
*You bleed for me*  
  
*And I didn't get to notice you*  
  
*Now I'm stuck out of line*  
  
*Yeah, You bleed for me*  
  
*I didn't get to be with you*  
  
*Now you're stuck in my mind*  
  
*You bleed for me*  
  
*Why won't you bleed for me*  
  
*Why won't you bleed for me*  
  
*Bleed for me*  
  
*Just one love in my life*  
  
*You bleed for me*  
  
*Why won't you bleed for me*  
  
*Why won't you bleed for me*  
  
*Bleed for me*  
  
*Just one love in my life* 


End file.
